My Interpretation, The Beginning of GSR
by WhenFireAndIceBurnAsOne
Summary: This is what I think could have happened.
1. Chapter 1

Fan Fiction story one

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. It should be noted I do not own CSI or the characters.

Continuation from a scene in Nesting Dolls. Sara tells Grissom about her past.

Her tears crashed to the ground as she cried her grief in front of him. Forgetting he was her boos and then he was her friend. He had her hand and knew she needed more comfort than he could give her, even though he wanted too. Desire took over and he surprised himself by pulling her off the chair and onto the couch with him. She leaned against his legs, he pulled her back and wrapped his arm around her upper torso bringing her to his chest. He cradled her in his arms like a baby, resting his head on hers. Her hand gripped his shirt as she failed to control her tears. Her head was at his shoulder soaking his shirt in salty water. He didn't care, he just held her comforting her. He placed his hand over her stomach, resting it there unless she moved it away. He expected her to move to force him away like he has done the past years but she didn't.

It felt strange to her to be in his arm at his request, to have him so close to her. She tried to focus on his breathing and tried to match hers to it but the pain was too much for her. It crippled her, she pushed herself against him burying her head deeper into his shoulder. She didn't know how long he held her there, not talking just holding her, it was like he knew this was she needed comfort.

He didn't check to see how long he held her. His eyes were closed his head still rested on hers. As she buried her head deeper into his shoulder he tightened his grip around her. He wanted to stay like this, he didn't want to move but he knew he had to.

Her breathing was evening the tears had ceased. He opened his eyes to see her red puffy and saddened. He held her gaze but didn't release her form his arms. He was lost in her eyes, the emotion she held there was too much for one person to hold. He knew she was strong, never has he seen this strength. She had witnessed more then one person should ever have to see.

She was staring up at him holding his gaze wondering what he was thinking.

"What are you thinking" she finally asked him her voice not rising above a whisper. He pulled out of the warmth of her eyes back into reality.

"I was thinking how strong you are, you have dealt with more than one person should ever have to deal with. And yet you are so strong. Strength I have never seen. You fight until the end. I admire that" he told her never removing his eyes from hers. He decided to continue. "You have perspectives that will either hurt or help and most of the time you use them to get the result you need. Today was not one of them, but now I know why and I will help you if and when you need help. I don't want you to think you have to walk alone. I will always help you" he finished waiting for her reaction.

"Walking alone is who I am, I cannot change overnight, but if I believe I need help I will come to you first" she told him looking straight into his eyes and saw the feeling there. He slowly nodded accepting her terms.

"Just know I am always here for you. Whenever you need me." he said as he slowly began to release her form his grip. She suddenly gripped his shirt tighter refusing to let go.

"Pleas…don't let me go yet. I…I…I need you, I cant…" tears began again, he pulled her towards him and wrapped his other arm around her. He hand moved towards her hand gently resting it on the side and holding her to him. He couldn't seem to stop himself, he pressed his lips against her forehead before resting his forehead on top of hers.

She was shocked surprised confused. She felt confused as well as happier than she had been. She loosened her grip, after some time had passed, her breathing was back to normal. Her eyes were sore, she involuntarily yawned and began to feel tired. Her eyes began to close and she fell into darkness.

He had noticed her grip loosen on him, her eyes were closed her breathing had deepened. She had fallen asleep in his arms. He carefully lifted her into his arms, he took her to her room gently laying her on the bed. 'She can kill me later' he thought as he took her shirt off leaving the tank top she was wearing underneath and removed her trousers replacing them with a pair of sweats that were already on the bed. Finding some paper and a pen he began to write a note.

_Sara, you can kill me later, I thought you would be more comfortable in bed. I changed your clothes and tucked you in. I hope you are not angry with me. _

_I didn't want to leave you but I had to get in for shift and explain to Ecklie. I will check on you after shift. If you are awake. _

_Yours Always,_

_Grissom. _

He placed it on her bedside cabinet, stared at her for a couple of minutes before taking his leave.

At Sara's.

She slept soundly for more hours then the nights before. On waking she turned over to see herself in bed. She was confused she fell asleep in Grissom arms, how did she get here. Her eyes fell on the paper which stood against her alarm clock. She went to get out of bed noticing her attire she picked up the note he left. Her emotions changed rapidly from shock to anger to happy. Okay she was shocked and angry that he had changed her clothes but then she felt happy that he took that much care with her to make sure she was comfortable. She realised she couldn't be angry at him. She noticed the time if shift finished on time he would be round there in two hours. She decided to shower change and make breakfast. She picked up her cell and sent a text message to Grissom - _Thank you for last night. _She went in to the bathroom and started to get ready for a shower, she heard her phone vibrate signalling a message. She abandoned what she was doing and went to answer. _message from Grissom - It was no problem Sara, can I check on you after shift?._ She quickly replied. _I would like that. I'll make breakfast. Don't argue. See you later. _His answer came back almost instantly - _wouldn't dream of it. See you later. _She smiled at his reply and went back into the bathroom and continued on with her shower. Half an hour later she was getting dressed and drying her hair. She didn't know what she was going to say to him about last night she didn't know what to say about anything she told him last night, he barely said anything except comment on her strength and how he admired it. He also had kissed her forehead which had confused her, he had always kept her at arms length not allowing her to be close to him. And now he held her tenderly trying to help her without making her talk about her past. Without hurting her more. He was so close to her, she saw emotion in his eyes but couldn't make out what he was trying to say. What did he want to say. With her thinking she had lost track of time, her hair was completely dry and still flying around her head while she gathered her thoughts. When she had she glanced over at the time. She had around 30 minutes to make breakfast before he would be here checking on her. She turned her hairdryer off and headed towards the kitchen to start making breakfast.

In Grissom's Office

He was catching up on paperwork when he received the Sara's message. It made him smile to know he had been useful, that he could do something right for her after all the pain he had caused. He wanted to help her, he wanted to help her but he didn't know how. He wanted to stop hurting her, he wanted to hold her and make sure she was okay. He wanted her.

He wanted her!

He startled himself with his heart speaking instead of his head. He had her in his arms, he had held her for hours while she cried. Her tears had soaked his shirt which he had changed when he arrived at the lab. He had spoken to Catherine and Ecklie managing to anger them both at the same time. He didn't care he only cared about her right now, if she was okay. Bright side to that was that he had managed to keep Sara and not fire her for her actions, he understood them. Only he knew about her past and he made sure it stayed that way.

He was now waiting for his shift to end so he could hold her again to reassure himself that she was okay.

Time seem to slow down. The one night he wanted time to run away was the one night it decided to stay. He knew if he kept looking at the time and thinking of Sara he would never get the paperwork done and he did not need another run in with Ecklie he had enough of that today. He put his head down picked up where he left off thinking each file down the sooner he gets to Sara.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own CSI or their Characters.

**Chapter Two. **

**Connection. **

Sara was just putting breakfast out when she heard three taps at her door, taking a deep breath she went to open it. He stood in her doorway holding a bunch of flowers - red roses.

"These are for you" He handed them to her as she stood aside to indicate for him to enter.

"There beautiful Grissom Thank you." While he shut her door she put the flowers in a vase she had on her worktop.

"Not as beautiful as you Sara" he replied.

"Please sit down, eat" Sara told him blushing, she indicated to a chair and breakfast. They both ate in silence. She couldn't take the silence any longer and decided to break it.

"Umm Grissom, I want to thank you for last night. You really didn't need me crying all over you, but thank you." she looked at the flowers as she said all over this. She couldn't let him see her eyes, they still held pain.

"Sara, I came round last night because I wanted to help you, but I also wanted an explanation. Thank you for confiding in me. I know telling me about your past was beyond difficult. Know I will not say a word. Your secret is safe with me." he had moved towards her as he said this until he was beside her.

He knew he wanted her, he wanted to hold her, to kiss her. She was still staring at the worktop. Gil lifted his hand and placed it under her chin lifting her head to face him. Fresh tears were falling down her face. He frowned as he rubbed his thumb over her cheek to wipe away the water that had stopped there. She turned to face him, his stayed on her face the other was placed on the small of her back pulling her against him. Sara didn't fight but allowed herself to be pulled towards him. How does she tell him she needs him.

"Telling you was difficult, but I could because I trust you, I trust you with more than I can with others. I trust you with more than my past" she looked up to an expression of pain but of concern, care poured out of his eyes. He didn't respond but lowered his head towards hers to kiss her cheek, it wasn't enough for him but he couldn't push her. He rested his head on her shoulder. She had different ideas she wanted him to kiss he. She her hands from his chest and wrapped them around his neck. He couldn't take it anymore he needed to kiss her. He lifted his head to look at her.

"Sara…" he didn't know how to finish his sentence, it came out as a whisper but captivated her. He had her attention. He leaned in towards her pulling her closer until his lips were on hers. They moved in unison pouring all of their emotion into this, their first kiss.

They broke apart still locked in an embrace.

"Sara…I. Now you know, it was never that I didn't have feelings for you, I couldn't break policy…I couldn't hurt you but I still did. I'm sorry I have I didn't want too." he buried his head in her shoulder keeping his arms tight around her.

"Now you know I have always had feelings for you." she replied.

"I always knew just could never understand. I never looked deep enough. I knew I felt for you, I could just never understand how you could fall for someone like me. Understanding was my problem." he mumbled into her neck.

"You didn't have to, I didn't know what you felt I only knew my own feelings, yours were your own to decipher." she didn't want him to think she expected anything. She didn't want to push him anywhere he didn't want to go.

"And now I have" he said as he lifted his head to look at her. He leaned towards her wanting more. She wanted more of him, she leaned towards him. They connected again feeling more of each others emotion. It got more intimate, they didn't stop. Clothes begin to shed as they moved towards her bedroom. Bliss awaited them.

As they lay in her bed they were still captivated by each other.

"Sara…" he started to say but got lost in her eyes. He fell into the depths of her soul.

"Gil, what is it?" she bought him back to reality. He pulled her to him to kiss her again. He wanted to show her just how much she wanted him how much he needed her.

"Sara, I…I need you." he whispered.

She looked at him in surprise, but saw the look in his eyes, the expression was one of happiness but total honesty. She had finally seen the man behind the mask.

He saw her surprise and began to feel fear. She read that in his eyes, before he could move she captured his lips trying to make him see she needed him too.

"Gil, I need you too. I don't normally admit I need something or someone. But I need you. I have needed you from the beginning." he could he could hear the honesty behind her words.

They stared into each others eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Before they managed to break free from the connection they had.

"Gil. Not that I am complaining but how did we end up here?" Sara asked amazed how they ended up in her bed after all that passion.

"I don't know Sara, I honestly don't know, Do you regret it?" he wanted to know if she did because he didn't.

"No I don't regret anything. What do we do now?" where do they go from here what was this.

"I… what do you want to do." he wanted her there was no disputing that but he would not force her somewhere she did not want to be.

"How about we date, nothing serious but go out be together learn about each other and when we are both comfortable we decide where we go from there?" she looked up at him to see him smiling down at her.

"That sounds right. Although we have skipped quite a few dates and ended up in bed. Which I do not regret." he kissed her forehead still smiling.

"Well we will just have to catch up on our dates then wont we" she said before she started to get out of bed.

"Where are you going?" he asked wondering where she was wandering stark naked.

"Shower, want to join me" she asked seriously before smiling at him. She continued into the bathroom as he got out of bed and followed her closing the door.

"Can I come by after shift to take you on one of the dates we need to catch up on?" he asked as he stood at her door ready to get to work.

"If you would like, I am only going to be here bored all day." although it was the evening they were nocturnal because of their shift.

"I'll pick you up after shift and we will go for breakfast. See you later" he leaned in to kiss her and took off down the corridor.

She laughed as she closed the door that shower had made him very late.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own CSI or their characters.

Chapter Three

**At Sara's**

Well. That was unexpected, she never expected to end up in bed with Gil Grissom, her bed!

She was in complete bliss, she felt as though she was in a dream as she moved about her apartment in a daze not noticing time passing as she cleaned her apartment to be ready for when he was to pick her up. She moved towards the kitchen, stopping when she remembered what happened there. She saw a re-run of what happened. She saw Gil lean in to kiss her pulling her to him gently holding her in an embrace. She remembered how his hands moved across her backs and sides. She remembered tugging on his hand pulling him with her. Slowly moving towards her bedroom between passionate kisses. She watched the door slam in her memory, bring her back to the present. Smiling she started to clean up the breakfast things that were forgotten.

She glanced down at her attire, shorts and a t-shirt, she would have to change. She was walking towards her room when she heard three taps at her door.

**Grissom**

He had focused on work all night, making sure his happiness did not show or interfere with his case. He missed her. He wanted to see her.

They needed to take it slow. Although last night was amazing to him, they could not rush each other. He didn't know if he was ready for commitment so her suggestion of dating was the best idea in his head. He couldn't hurt her again. But hopefully taking it slow would work. His mind kept wandering to Sara. Wondering what she was doing, what she was wearing, if she was thinking of him.

More paperwork was in front of him, while he waited for results he began to wade through the ocean of papers. Taking the ones that were the oldest he started to write. File after file. Results were in and he managed to wrap up his case and left on time.

He went home to shower and change. He wanted to look presentable when he took Sara out for breakfast not grubby and tired.

An hour later he was at her door. He hesitated before he knocked, he felt happy but fearful that she had been disappointed and didn't want him. Facing his fears he rapped on the door.

* * *

She went to open the door carefully, not knowing who it was. She opened it a fraction and then seeing who it was she opened it fully. His eyes took in her face, then moved to her hair which was tied back into a ponytail then they took in her attire. She looked stunning to him.

She surveyed his face, it was glowing. He looked happy, fear lingered in his eyes she knew why she knew he was afraid she wouldn't want him. He was wrong she did want him. She could tell he had showered and changed and appreciated the effort he had put in and suddenly felt undeserving of it. She hadn't managed to get changed and be ready for when he arrived.

"Come in" she said pulling him from his stupor. "Sorry I'm not ready I was cleaning and lost track of time." she said as he shut her door behind him.

"Its fine I didn't call and tell you when I was going to be here so you cant be expected to be ready. Would you like me to wait here for you?" he replied leaning against her worktop.

"If you would like, I wont be long help yourself to anything you want" she said. A smile came across his face, he decided to be playful.

"Anything I want?" he asked smiling at her and then winking. She caught on and began to move towards him.

"Yes anything" she breathed. He took her hands gently tugging her towards him. He took her into his arms before placing his lips on hers. She pushed herself towards him closing the gap they had between them. His lips had moved down to her neck as she pushed towards him he moaned into her shoulder. He moved his hands from her sides to move them down her back stopping at the base.

Sara pulled away smiling. "I will go and get ready to go." she went to move but he caught her wrist.

"Do you have to?" he asked still smiling.

"If you want breakfast yes I do. We agreed not to rush this so I am going to get ready." she lifted his hand which still held hers and kissed it. He released her nodding in agreement watching her go down the hall. He wasn't kept waiting long, when she re-emerged she was wearing blue jeans, a tank top and flats. She took his breath away. He didn't know how he could deserve someone as amazing as her. He looked towards the ground as she walked to his side.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked placing her hand on the side of his face.

"Would you like the truth or should I say I'm fine?" he asked gently staring into her eyes.

"Truth would be nice" her voice was getting smaller. She began to feel scared. What didn't he want her to know.

"Alright then, I am trying to understand how I can deserve someone as perfect as you." he was still staring into her eyes. "Every time I have pushed you away you have forgiven me and come back to me. I don't deserve you, I never have and yet here you are. You asked for truth and that is all I speak to you. You only ever hear the truth." he took her hand in his holding it too his heart.

"I have always forgiven you because you deserved to be forgiven, I know you have insecurities, I know you have trouble communicating what you feel. And I will not lie you have hurt me in the past, but you have also saved me from myself. You were a friend when I needed a friend, you comforted me when I trusted no one else. You have seen me at my most vulnerable and not hurt me. How could I deserve you." she emphasised the last few words. He would never understand how much he had saved her. Yet she would never understand how much she saved him.

He continued to stare at her falling into her eyes again, getting lost.

"Are we going for breakfast or not then?" she asked hoping he still wanted to go,

"Yes, Shall we?" he indicated to the door. She made sure she had everything and locked the door after they had walked through it. He held open the door for her as she walked out into the bright sunshine. They walked over to his car and he opened the passenger door for her waiting for her to seat herself before closing it and climbing into the drivers side.

"Okay Mr, Where are we going for breakfast?" she asked as she buckled in.

"That my dear is a surprise." he grinned as he started the car. He eased out of the lot and began to drive away from the city.

She didn't ask again, she couldn't spoil his fun, patience was not her strongest virtue but how could she resist him. They past buildings diners casinos before they met the desert. It didn't take long for them to hit a little café a few miles from the main city. It was the perfect picture for a perfect morning.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own CSI or their characters.

Chapter Four.

"Gil, its beautiful" Sara said as he parked the car. "How do you know this place?"

"I have lived here a long time, I know a few places to escape the world we know." he chuckled as he got out and went to open her door.

"Ma'am" he said while holding out his hand to her.

"Sir" she replied as she placed her hand in his. Admiring his gentlemanly ways. He closed the door and gently pinned her against the car.

"This seems familiar" she breathed looking up at him.

He looked confused as he tried to recall the last time he pinned up to a car. To stop him from spending all day trying to remember she decided to clarify.

"You pinned me to a sheet for a case a while back" realisation hit his face.

"I remember I got lost in your eyes, I don't know what I thought that day I knew I was attracted to you but I am glad I listened to my heart instead of my head" she smiled and leaned in to kiss his cheek but he captured her lips. She had not seen this side of Gil before, he wasn't pushing her away but passionately kissing her in public. Well somewhere away from the lab. They didn't have to hide.

She pulled away gasping for air. "God Gil, I have never seen this side of you before" seeing panic flash in his eyes she quickly continued "I like seeing the man behind the façade. I like seeing a side of you no one else gets to see." she whispered in his ear, sending shivers down his spine. "I like not having to hide" she said louder.

"Me too. You and only you will get to see this side of me. Look" he sighed "I shut myself off to the world in fear of getting hurt and hurting people I care about. I thought I was acting in your best interests when I pushed you away. The age gap and my constant detachment from life convinced me that you could do so much better and forget about me. I didn't see the pain I caused because I am always preoccupied with work. I will always be sorry for the pain I caused you." she didn't respond in words but grabbing his sides pulling him closer tilting her head back to kiss him with passion and intensity.

For the first time in a long time he felt alive.

"I want you" he mumbled into her neck, he had buried his face into her neck. Her fingers ran through his hair as her head rested against his shoulder.

"After breakfast" she breathed trying to regain her composure she took his hand leading him into the diner smiling.

"Order what you like my dear, your wish is my command." he said as he lead her to a booth. He waited for her to be seated before he sat down.

"I don't want to dent your wallet." she thoughtfully replied while looking over the dishes. She was stunned by the variety of the dishes.

"Don't worry about that. Let me make up for some of the stupid things I have done." he was only breakfast but he wanted to show her he wanted to make up for all the pain he had caused her. Even if he thought he was helping her.

"If that's what you want" she said softly. Lifting her gaze to meet his eyes. She found him staring at her.

"Your Beautiful" he whispered, making her blush and hide her face behind the menu. "Hey don't hide" he said as he pulled the menu from her hands. "You are beautiful" she smiled blushing even more.

"Thank you" she picked up her menu and began to browse its contents again. Gil summoned over a waitress to take their order. They covered a variety of topics as they waited for their food and consumed it. As they climbed back into his car she was wondering about the past two days.

"Why do you trust me?" she asked. She regretted asking as soon as the words left her mouth.

"I…Um…Why do you want to know?" he finally asked.

"I… Because. I just want to know why you trust me" she said in a rush.

"Because no matter what I do you tell me the truth even when I don't want to hear it. You let me know when I am wrong and after everything you are still here. You put up with every one of my flaws. You care for me for who I am, you have never asked me to change. I have trusted you since we met. I look in your eyes and know I can trust you." her mouth fell open. She was shocked he saw that.

"I can be deep you know" he chuckled putting his eyes back to the road.

"Its not that, its I didn't know most of what you told me. You know I couldn't leave you. And what's the point of lying when the truth is better." she managed to say still in shock.

"I wish I had listened to the truth years ago." leaving her to wonder what he meant, she paid attention to the road coming back into the city.

He stole glances at her as he was driving, he could see the cogs turning in her head trying to figure out what he had meant by his last comment. He wished he had taken her offer of dinner 2 years ago. He began to wonder what they would be doing now if he had. Would they have been happy and stayed together or would they have been complete opposite and trying to avoid each other in the lab result of a break up.

He began to think maybe it was better it had been this way. Everything happens for a reason maybe there was a reason to this. Maybe he had to understand before he could do anything.

She continued to stare ahead wondering what he meant. She has been throwing him chances for years which one did he wish he could turn time back to. Why did he have to say something he knew would captivate her attention until she had figured it out. It didn't seem fair to her but this was after all Grissom. Or Gil now she calls him. She would have to call him Grissom at work only Catherine and Ecklie call him Gil.

Work, having to go back to lab after her blow out. She wasn't afraid but would be glad to get back to her routine back to her life. But then she would also have to deal with Catherine and Ecklie neither of which she wanted to do now. She wanted to stay in this little piece of heaven she had for longer than she knew she could. Maybe this week off would be good for her to try and go through her life and make sense of it. Start moving on from the habits that had landed her in trouble in the first place. She figured she would worry about that another day right now she noticed they were coming back towards her apartment.

"Are you coming up?" she asked remembering what happened before they left her apartment that morning.

He hesitated then answered. "If that's okay with you, I don't want to overstep my bounds." he parked the car waiting for her response.

"Its not overstepping, come on up." he exited the car walking around to her door opening it for her and helping her step out.

"Always the gentleman" she commented while digging her keys out of her pocket. He took her hand and led her towards her complex.

"I was raised to be, and so I am." he said turning to her and smiling.

"Its nice to know there are still some gentlemen out there not just the criminals we see everyday. Sometimes it is nice to see hope and not loss. Everyone needs something to keep them smiling." she said on reaching her door. She lifted her keys and turned them in the lock. Sunlight was still pouring in her windows bathing her apartment in light. He walked towards her bookcase as she closed the door and shed her jacket. He browsed the many books that filled the shelves, he was amazed by the variety although he had initially thought she only read forensics no wonder she knew his quotes she read a lot. Then he remembered she didn't sleep well.

"Like my collection." she asked watching him examine with detail her books.

"Not as much as I like their owner" he answered honestly surprising himself that he didn't hesitate and said what he thought. Expecting repercussions he waited for her to start conversation again.

"Its amazing isn't it. The past few years we have skated around each other, well you more than me and now here you are in my apartment telling all to me without hesitation. How can you now after all that effort to distance yourself." she had moved towards him while speaking placing her hand on his lower back awaiting an answer.

"I don't know to be completely honest, I think it must have happened because it was its time to happen. I guess I finally realised what you meant to me. Now I know I don't want to go back." he was still speaking to the books and not looking her in they eye. Her hand had been rubbing his back in a comforting manner. He finally turned towards her putting his arm around her waist gently pulling her close to him.

"I'm glad it finally happened, I thought I would never get you." she whispered. He placed his other hand on the side of her neck sliding it to the back of her neck bring her face to his bringing their lips together. every time he kissed her he felt fireworks. every time she kissed him she felt fire. Breaking apart for air they looked into each other others eyes seeing passion letting it fill their souls before acting on it. Clothes flew everywhere and landed all over her main room.

If one thing was for sure it was that this was not going slow.


End file.
